Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Day 1000 - Wait, WHAT?!

How can this be? Answer me!

Well, my friends, this is a serious milestone of numeric proportions. I've never done anything hard for 1000 days straight. I've contributed--a decent percentage--to keeping two tiny humans alive for 1000 days! Some might even say they're happy, tiny humans. At least for much of the day.

When I signed up for this gig, of course I had no idea what to expect. I had some vague notion that it would be the hardest thing I've ever tried. But how does one really know what that will mean? Let me just say that despite the heavenly joys, triumphs, and treasured memories, there definitely exists a challenge--day to day--that I could never have anticipated. And furthermore, the game changes on irregular but frequent intervals!

Here's the latest from my world:

After approximately eighteen months of miserable toddler-sleep-habits (e.g. finally falling asleep two hours after being put down, and waking crying more than once a night) I am over-freaking-joyed to report that the past three weeks have been nothing sort of magical. Having tried many, many techniques, tricks, bribes, books and even pharmacological assistance, the wheel finally landed on the correct combination and sleep...returned. The first week was sketchy, ups and downs, but smoothed out and has since been great--not even relatively speaking; it's just been great! Kids are even, on occasion, putting themselves to bed! If I believed in jinxes, I'd probably be discussing poop again now. TwinPop & Wifey's happy sleep has subsequently enjoyed a great resurgence!


Day to day activities have taken a serious toll on me. Sometimes the pull and drag and push and refereeing of my days just builds up to the point where my brain heads upstairs and starts packing for Bora Bora. These kids' cognitive abilities (and accompanying manipulation skills) are increasing at an exponential rate. Once you think you've figured out their wily ways, they pull the parking brake and Tokyo Drift your ass.

But comes the reprieve! I've been granted some leave! So my Day 1001 is also the first day of my mental/physical vacay! Haven't yet figured out exactly what I'm doing, but frankly I'd be happy to spend some time sleeping in the attic. Insulation as my pillow.

I love my kids more than words can say. And I will continue to love them as I watch a movie, ride a roller coaster, catch a fish, dig a ditch, and/or bungee jump off TwinPop Tower!

I'll let you know how it goes. Maybe by Day 1245. FREEEDOOOOMMMMMMM!!!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Day 757 - Coming Out of the Dark - for now

It has indeed been the better part of a year since my last entry. I'd like to say that I've simply forgotten, or that I haven't had the time. While there is some truth in both of those, the rest of the truth is that I've been afraid. Sometimes I feel like maintaining the facade of strength and okidokiness. I know it serves no purpose, but I think it's a guy thing. Ingrained.

The fact is that the last several months have served to shatter, to a degree, some idealism regarding my kids. Girlie has been struggling--as, consequently have we--with some anxiety and something of an emotional hair-trigger. As I've mentioned ad nauseum in blogs previous, I have no real frame of reference when it comes to raising kids--only the other twin. So when such a huge divergence occurs, it's hard to ignore. Before I turn both of you off with a completely depressing blog, I'll ask you to stay; it gets a lot happier!

But not quite yet.

On Fathers' Day, eight months ago, our dog bit Girlie on the lip necessitating several stitches. Physically, she's fine and will have only a slight scar which may be all but invisible when she's grown. But this seemed to set off a chain of events, the result of which left her emotionally . . . different. She became somewhat withdrawn, wheras once she would hug and cuddle with people she'd only just met. She also loved to dance--just moving and swaying to the beat like someone who was, well, not a toddler! :) These things all but vanished, replaced by poor sleep & appetite, much more frequent tantrums, and chronic clinginess (but only to Mom and Pop.) We've sought help from several professional sources and have seen some improvement, but only what I might call slight. I had gotten into the habit of taking them both to the gym with me, dropping them off in child care while I worked out. I'd sweat it out, then take a leisurely, hot shower before retrieving them. It was majestic! And then one day, about two months ago, Girlie suddenly started melting down when I'd try to leave. And I mean core breach meltdown--no workout, no how. Subsequently, I've tried to slowly reintroduce her to the child care room--staying there to play, showing her pictures of the room before going in, etc. Suffice it to say, I have not since worked out there unless Wifey has been home with the kids.

Ok, I think now comes the happy part.

At the risk of counting my chickens and/or jinxing the situation . . . Girlie has had a breakthrough! For three nights in a row she has gone down at a reasonable time and for the past two nights (the current night is yet unfolding) she has slept through till morning. This is huge news in Casa TwinPop, amigos! (Incidentally, I haven't mentioned Boy much in this post. While I, of course, love them equally . . . Boy is a sleep rockstar. Girlie was too, but not since her
shift.) Anyhow, in a matter of days, her appetite seems to be returning. So too seems to be her attitude, sleep, and confidence. But what may be the greatest joy is, well, her joy. And she's dancing again! I feel like we're getting our happy little girl back from a long, bittersweet hiatus. Again, and I guess this is mostly for me, I'm not trying to fool myself into believing that she'll never again shed a tear or soil a diaper. But no matter what this is, it's certainly not a step backward. And, frankly, I haven't been this happy in several months. Because we know, us parents, when something is different, don't we? How did I get this instinct/insight/perception? Maybe it's airborne, released from tears and diapers. I don't know.

I was on cloud nine today. The previous paragraph was actually a little hard to finish, as it started getting blurry for me. Serious emotion. I don't know what else to say about it.

I suppose I'll finish my longest blog to date by saying how much I love my family. All of them. Oh, and . . .

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love your loved ones . . . even more!