Day 20 - Coming Up for Air

Friends, I'd like to give you my perspective on sleep deprivation. At first, it seems just like typical fatigue--as in a long weekend partying, etc. It's frustrating in that, if you're accustomed to it, sleep seems so elusive but so desirable. Then the fatigue mutates. I place hallucinations (mind you I'm referring only to fatigue-induced hallucinations) squarely between stages one and two on the deprivation scale. (Oh how I've longed for a return to stage two.) At this point you lose all track of time. For example, in addition to never knowing what day it is, I also generally have no idea how much was consumed or at what time the previous feeding took place.


There's something about the start-and-stop nature of sleeping--like perpetual power naps--that is especially draining over the course of several weeks. Although I choose not to go into greater detail here, Wifey has had some health issues of late that have added some more stress--and a good deal more sleep deprivation to the family dynamic. I mention this because it further illustrates my perspective here. I've felt rather zombiesque lately. With some family generously offering their time and assistance over the past few weeks I've started to notice what I can only describe as a light at the end of a tunnel (<---notice the indefinite article). 


Problem is that it's been just out of reach. To me, it's totally analogous to being asthmatic and struggling to catch my breath. Wifey rules, friends. Last night I caught my breath. I slept 8 hours straight. It was the longest stretch of sleep I've had since November 29th. 


I also want to mention that although the great blizzard of '11 has come and gone, the accompanying stress of that certainly had a hand in keeping the household a little more off balance. It continues to be unexpected the unexpected things that arise. Wasn't that deep?


As this is supposed to be a blog about the babes, let me come back full circle to them. I know that my level of fatigue has impacted them. I'm grumpier, have less tolerance and am probably less adept at comforting any fussiness that comes up. I'll just proceed as though this realized respite will indeed make an improvement in this regard.


They are doing beautifully. We think that Boy's diaper rash is finally starting to turn the corner. (That reads oddly now that I look at it. Oh well.) They're both gaining weight appropriately and are thriving. I feel so recharged at the moment--really hoping the charge lasts for another couple of months. :)